Ever Mindful

One day this week, I found myself curled up in bed, tearfully texting a dear friend that I just wasn't in the spirit.  This is nothing new.  Every year around this time, I start to feel a little overwhelmed.  

I'm not enough of a planner to start preparing for the holidays in September, so suddenly December is upon me, and I don't have a tree and my gifts are half made and there's just not enough time!  And then I remember to take a breath.  And that I don't have to do it all.  Least of all, live up to some trumped up expectations that I have for myself.

  I'm going to be mindful of how fortunate I am this year and not overreach.

I started the project above on Wednesday.  It's a skirt for a tree that I don't have.  I'm expecting a houseful of friends on Saturday who will have fun even if that tree skirt isn't finished and if I serve them store bought bread instead of homemade brioche dinner rolls.  

So the table is set for tomorrow and tonight I will sit and stitch and be mindful of all the reasons that I love this time of year and all the wonderful people in my life and all the ways that I am so, so lucky.

 

Birthdays and more birthdays

It was my birthday last week, which around these parts looks a lot like this:

That is to say, a lot of wine and eating and general merry-making. 

I'm a little peculiar when it comes to birthdays.  To me, there is nothing sadder, nothing, than a birthday that goes unnoticed and rather than rely on others to make a fuss over my day, I usually end up throwing myself some kind of party.  This creates kind of a conundrum, because I then start to panic that no one will come, which is the worst kind of sad, because you've gone and made your own fuss and then no one acknowledged it!

In the past I've had parties at bars, or parties that my bf organized that were mostly his friends, or parties that I've shared with roommates (which is perfect when your birthdays are a week a part!), but this was the first year that I've had a party in my own apartment to just celebrate me.

It all seemed a little too self-indulgent.  There was a facebook mishap where a bunch of people didn't get invited.  I begged my family to make the drive to the city, so that if no one showed up at least they would be there.  It was destined to fail and I would spend my birthday alone and friendless with piles of food going bad and drinks going warm.

But of course it didn't.  In fact, I had such a good time that I forgot to take a single picture!  And my apartment was full of family and friends and love and merry-making and I was (am) the luckiest girl in the whole world!

I'm slowly digging myself out, mentally and physically.  All this snow and ice don't help, either.  I finished and started some knitting and I've done a bit of sewing.  All to come soon.  

All. To. Come. Soon.

P.S. Thank you, everyone, for making a fuss and making me feel so loved!

That time of year

The apartment is all cosied up with Christmas decorations and the remnants of a little holiday party from last Friday. I set the table with a red cross-stitched table cloth that my father made as a child. It was a long train ride from Trenton, NJ to Altoona, PA , where my grandmother's family lived, and needlework was how she kept my father busy. I think it's kind of amazing. The ruffled plates are from the same grandmother. She had a vast collection of milk glass and it became mine when she passed away, last year almost to the day. It makes me infinitely happy to have it and to use it. At least it's not sitting in a box in someones basement.

I took about 25 pictured of the table, all of them blurry, but you can get the basic idea. All warm red and orange and creamy white. Very festive, indeed.

I'm at my parents' house today and will be for the next 4 days. I had a little moment of panic when I realized that I brought my current knitting project but failed to print out the pattern! I'm not sure what I'm going to do with my free time now. It's a feeling kind of like floating in space with no anchor.

For the moment I'm watching TV and sitting on the couch with the family's dog, Ella, faithfully at my feet. Some programming genius knew I needed some comfort today and there is a West Wing marathon on right now. Is there anything cosier than curling up with Josh, Leo, CJ and the gang for a few hours? I think not.

Be grateful for the little things this holiday. Give from the heart and honor the past. Start new traditions with people you love. Keep things in perspective and keep things positive. A new year and a new opportunity to start fresh is right around the corner, so no matter what this year has brought you, there is the promise of the New Year lighting your way.

Happy holidays, everyone, and thank you for being a part of this blog, and of my life.