Monday, October 19, 2009

A Year of Living Dangerously

Hi, friends. I'm coming up on a bit of a milestone. This coming weekend will mark one year that I've been living as a single woman in NYC (well, Queens, more accurately, but I digress).

This is a fact that still kind of hits a raw nerve for me. I didn't think it would, but this past week I've been bombarded with random mood swings and general feelings of panic and grumpiness. I couldn't understand what was wrong with me and then I looked at the calendar.

One year ago this Sunday, I moved all of my earthly belongings into my friend, Kevin's, apartment in Sunnyside, Queens and never looked back. Somehow, between the two of us, I developed a mantra that would guide me through the next year. I would in the months to come, time and time again, hear Kevin's voice in my head, "Just say yes, Rebecca."

Someone invites me to see a band I hardly know at 11pm on a Tuesday? Just say yes.
Drop everything and spend 2 weeks in Italy? Just say yes.
Face all of your fears and do the one thing you're afraid of the most? Just say yes.

And so I said yes. Every time I was too tired, or too scared, or too shy, I heard Kevin urging me on. Whether he's aware of it or not, he helped me discover a new self. Or maybe it was an old self that had just been pushed down for so long that she had become unrecognizable.

But she's here now, and she's not going away, and she's going to keep saying yes. Thanks, Kevin.

Just a few of the things I have said yes to in the last year:
I moved into a new apartment.
I spent 2 weeks in a country where I don't know the language.
I sang karaoke.
I ate wild boar!
I took up kickboxing.
I went to a party where I didn't know anyone except the host.
I bought my first computer.
I took on a project that I wasn't sure I could finish.
I ran three 5K races.
I took lots of pictures.
I raised some tomatoes.
I went to Staten Island.
I saw my friend play in a band.
I kissed a stranger.
I went to a Knicks' game.
I ate sweetbreads.
I made new friends.
I went to Long Island.
I was a bridesmaid in my brother's wedding.
I went to Texas alone to see an old friend get married.
I read a Psalm at my grandmother's funeral.
I considered the possibility of new love.
And, oh yeah, I flew on the trapeze.

1 comment:

CityMinx said...

The Staten Island one made me laugh out loud. And you've had sweetbreads before! The day that you and I went to Elattaria and I broke up with The Chef. Ah, memories ;)

You're amazing, and we haven't hung out in the longest time. Let's remedy that, tout sweet