Friday, August 15, 2008

The Olympics are half way over today and I'm about half way from finishing my Ravelympics entry. According to my records, which are vague, at best, I started it in January of 2006. I am, obviously, participating in WIP Wrestling. I can hardly believe that I've managed to finish so much of it in so little time. When I started the chart (2 years ago!) it seemed like such an insurmountable task. And now the chart is finished and I only have to knit the waistband, sleeves and collar. Amazing.

This is a new concept for me. Setting a goal and acheiving it. It's something, well, Olympian. I've always been a good one for excuses. Excuses not to try something. Excuses not to go somewhere. Excuses not to call someone. I've finally (FINALLY) learned that if you never try, you can never succeed. Such a simple idea.

I ran my first 5K last weekend and I finished it. That was my only goal - just finish. Now I'm in another race next weekend. It seems to get easier and easier to set goals for myself. Knit this sweater. Run this race. Live my life.

I'm learning some really tough lessons this summer. About how easy it is to take life for granted. How easy it is for the people in it to suddenly disappear. A long time love gone. A dear friend dead. An old friend moved away.

I said goodbye to yet another special person in my life last night. Lindsay was my roommate the semester I spent in Paris in 1998. It was the year I discovered that I had been hiding who I was for a long time and these 5 brilliant, hillarious, beautiful girls (ahem, women) made me their friend and showed me a life I could have. Lindsay, Carrie, Lynn, Molly and Anja. Thank you.

By some gift of Fate, three of them ended up in NYC with me. (I spent 9/11 on Lindsay's couch, stranded in the city that awful day.) We've had dinners and brunches and birthdays, but not enough. You're always busy, in love, tired, full of excuses and there's always next time. But then one day, there is no next time.

Last night, standing in the wet night, sharing one last ciagrette, Lindsay and I reminisced and said goodbye. 1998 was also the year that I met Peter. Now, 10 years later, a very large chapter of my life comes to an end. Peter is gone, Lindsay is gone, Carrie is soon to be gone (to NJ, so not to far). And my life is changed. And a great is lesson learned.

Take nothing for granted. Don't make excuses. Love everyone the best you possibly can. Don't depend on there being a next time. Don't make excuses. Don't be afraid.


Anonymous said...

Fucking BRAVO. Well said.


Dianne said...

I have wanted to respond ever since I read this, but my words fail before the power in yours.